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| Understanding and managing your true emotional feelings. |
There was a time long ago, I walked into some store down the street and the salesperson practically verbosed me into buying some newly branded products of a footwear company. "Do you know that new Nike sneakers was worn by Drake during his last visit to the Lakers?, No second guesses I think these pairs would really look good on you handsome, you should try it on to prove me wrong if it wouldn't fit so well on you, and of course you may wish to buy them for just a token then watch your homies getting jealous of you and trying to yank it off your feet'' She said. Literally, I smiled as I was caught up in the heat of the moment knowing fully well the consequences attached.
Understanding human temperaments goes a long way in helping one to become sensitive to emotions and people's proclivities. In the same process, one would definitely understand him or herself better than anyone would. For example what titillates you and what puts you off like a steam engine, what inspires you and finally your emotional malady.
Do you agree with me that it is because parents do not understand the concept of emotional Intelligence, the ability to comprehend temperamental giftedness is the main reason they discipline their own children spontaneously in thesame manner only to discover as the years rolls by that one turned to be pig headed and stubborn and he is not deterred by empty threats or even the worse punishment whatsoever while the other siblings might have well been of a good character. While growing up I could recall with nostalgia when one of my friend named Dylan also known as Pelumi cut his momma's chain and tried flushing them down the toilet. He didn't stop there, he furthered his actions and went ahead to hide her C.V bag (curriculum vitae and other documents) for months knowing fully well that she was due for promotion with she, tearing up the whole apartment seeking for what seemed to be the most cherished gift in her whole entire life. But thank God for his life, my friend would live to tell this grand tale to his children as well.
THE PHLEGMATIC
Once I met a young fair-skinned beautiful lady at the customer service point section in a Bank. What drew me close to her was her gracious and disarming smile and the charming way with which she went doing her job, so ladylike of a young woman. While her colleagues were putting on long faces due to stress, fatigue or tiredness; She was welcoming. I stood and watched her from a slight distance, yeah absolutely I know I tweaked a bit and it was delibrate to calm my nerves while i tried the fastest possible way to look my best before walking up to her desk. With the same flow of curiosity that almost killed me, I inquired of her about the ideology and philosophy of her work and her perception of life and how she was able to have successfully kept her cool all along without releasing her sanity or venting out her anger on another customer due to the frenzied atmosphere of the Banking system. She replied me by singing the lyrics of the song " this life I can't kill myself o, allow me to rest o'' and then she smiled graceful in a relaxed manner. The phlegm are cool like 'kuli-kuli'a popular west African snack made from peanuts. They are the coolest being one could ever encounter, they possess a magnificent laid-back character. They are as well soft like 'puff-puff',these people have a baby-like aura about them. You can't help but to let down your protective walls around them. They detest stressful situations and most times avoid overheated arguments. Rather than fanning the embers of an argument, a phlegm would choose to take the blame for the wrong done and withdraw him or herself from every daunting undertakings and strenuous tasks. These sets of people are patience personified, (a virtue that lives in an human form). Their slogans are: "take things easy", "Patience is a virtue ". They like a simple and a slow paced life without twists or turns, they have a semblance of peace and of serenity, they love to appear neat just as they would wish for everything that revolves around them to be just like them. The phlegm have a strong sense of comportment and can successfully keep their composure under pressure. While others would flare up, the tensed up situation would hardly pierce the carapace of their calmness. Be it as it may, having a repugnance of mind for conflicts and forays, they are sensitive and much aware of other people's feelings and most times tries to please or compromise to keep relationships going smoothly. More often than not, they seldom worry about people taking charge of affairs or elective positions. They are maestro in paying attention to finest of all details. Loyalty lies in their blood streams and they're dependable, putting the needs of those that they love before theirs. They'll always try to deliver on a promise to avoid counter arguments or confrontations that would ensue if they were to renege on their words.
THE PHLEGM'S WEAKPOINT.
Their cool nature makes people feel comfortable and willing to open up to them. They are so good at defusing tensed situations and resolving conflicts.
The ability of putting other's people need before theirs makes them a very good listeners. Besides,when listening to others talk, they are prone to saying soothing and supportive words to the encoder rather than verbal criticism for they themselves have inner peace of mind and can therefore act as escalators.
THE CHOLERIC
Imagine a six foot brick solid chest pack karate expert who gets into physical fight in a club house and beats the living daylight out of 12 men, knocking them out and stamping on them all till they pass out. Now try to reminisce the full display of brute strength, ruthlessness, agility and bravery. Then use them to mentally qualify the choleric temperament. The choleric is one mean temperament characterized by recalcitrance and pig headedness. To them, the world is like a battle ground, survival of the fittest arena where slouchiness and vulnerability is not allowed. Be it as it would, they find it difficult to feel the emotions of pain and sympathy. The cholerics wonder what makes people cry as they themselves could hardly cry. I had a choleric friend in my sophomore year at the University who lost his Dad to the cold hands of death. On learning about what led to the demise of his father, accepted it with great credibility and equanimity akin to that of a surgeon who just lost a patient. Little, mild or no show of sympathy at it's best. Cholerics on the other hand likes to take the lead in all ramifications. They like being the one who calls the shot and makes decisions as they feel people are not competent enough and even shy to undertake tasking endeavours. These people are known to be strict and straight to the point without beating around the Bush. They're direct and blunt and also have a high intolerance for theatrics and pretense. You had better have a good brain in between your ears and a perfect sense of humor before approaching a choleric boss for a request.
STRENGTHS
The most important thing that is noteworthy about cholerics is their single-mindedness. A typical goal setter and a-go-getter. They pursue their dreams with high intensity of focus, stopping at nothing whatsoever to get what they want. They are usually great leaders with intrinsic values and abilities. The ability to be decisive and firm in making decisions makes people with this temperament a natural leaders. Due to their ambitousness and determinations people logically seek out for them to champion and propel them towards achieving a noble cause. Notwithstanding, let's not forget the topic at hand is all about understanding and managing your true emotional feelings. Now that you know about temperaments, the next thing to ask is how does temperament relates with emotional Intelligence vis-a-vis?
Generally, Emotions are part of human behaviour in other words they're like glue that connects you with other people to make meaningful impact to their lives. As crazy as this may sound, emotions are permanent and ever present in our lives that influences all that we do in life. Sometimes, it costs us to feel and act in different ways in different situations which makes it very difficult to understand. But the power to understanding emotions involves;
. Recognizing and understanding the three aspects of physical feelings, thoughts and behaviours and the connections between them. In brief, emotions is made up of those three things mentioned above which are: physical feelings,thoughts and behaviours. People should know that any of these three can trigger the other. Take for instance anxiety, suppose you're nervous about writing an exam or an interview. Anxiety might start with the thought of "how am I going to pass" or what am I going to say" which might trigger a new physical feelings like (turning of the stomach, dryness of the throat, intense feeling of heat from the inside and tense muscles) which would eventually lead to a change in behaviour (inability to control your composure, sit still or relax). On the flipside of things due to individual differences, some may start with physical feeling of restlessness that induces the feeling of being paranoid (I.e whenever they remember they have an upcoming exam or an interview to attend) which later reflect in their physical behaviour like (pacing up and down the room or balcony). This is one of the reasons many find emotions very difficult to manage and understand while the ability of someone to successfully manage and understand one's emotions brings Intelligence, that is to say emotional Intelligence is the ability of being intelligent with your emotions. Alteratively, other people sees emotions as a two way channel, positive and negative. The fact is that all emotions have a positive purpose for safekeeping, helping you make decisions, to developing and maintaining social bonds to experience happiness and creative processes.
. The second point is having the full awareness of pertinent transitions and effective management of intensity in between emotional rifts and lastly understanding what, why and how many other people experience certain emotions in certain areas.
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